Ep 8: It is what it is

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Where you are now is where you are now. You know that.

Now how do you deal with it?

One of the most powerful ways you can gain real control over your mental health is to practice radical acceptance. We really don’t own much, but we do have the power to decide what to let go of.

In this episode, I share a bit about this radical acceptance and why it’s so important to add this tool to your toolbox.

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Full transcript 👇

Ep 8: It is what it is

Hi I’m Lori Miller and this is your Mental Health Moment.

It is what it is.

Have you ever said this? Boy I sure have!

If something doesn’t go my way, I take that deep breath and say, reluctantly. “Yep, it is what it is.”

It sounds like I’m giving up, but there’s a way to make “it is what it is” work for you.

There’s a specific type of therapy called dialectical behavior therapy, or DBT.

In DBT, “it is what it is” has a more clinical name.

It’s called radical acceptance.

Radical acceptance means accepting your circumstances. It doesn’t mean you approve of those circumstances or even expect them to never change.

But you help yourself understand that where you are now is where you are now.

DBT was mainly developed for people with borderline personality disorder.

Clients with this disorder struggle with extreme emotional dysregulation. It’s really hard for them to simply manage their emotions when things happen that they just don’t understand.

They can’t even think of moving forward because they’re completely ruled by their past and their emotional response to their past. It’s a very difficult place to be and hard to change.

Radical acceptance helps people with borderline personality disorder to better manage their emotional selves.

Because you can’t control what you can’t control, right?

You can’t really move forward and take meaningful action until you acknowledge that things are the way they are, for whatever reason they are.

The serenity prayer is based on this idea. Having the courage to accept what you can’t change is very powerful.

Because it allows you to leave a lot of junk behind you.

Sounds simple but it’s hard, I know.

Practicing radical acceptance is a deliberate and purposeful action.

You have to commit to accept something regardless of how you feel about it in that moment.

But it allows you to look ahead and really weigh your options. Now that you accept what you can’t control about your life, you can decide what you do have control over.

And more importantly, what you CAN change.

Radical acceptance creates a line in the sand that you can step over.

It engages you in your options instead of looking back and wallowing in things that may never change.

For articles and videos about stress and mental health, visit my website at Lorimiller.me.

Thanks for listening!

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